Cravings! Chocolate, wine, chocolate cake and ADULT INTERACTION!

30 Mar

Shop assistants BEWARE!

Do not make eye contact with me, do not say “can I help you?”, do not even wander in my general direction, please for your own sake let me be!

If you don’t you will hear my whole life story! Do you really want to know how much Weetbix my daughter put on the floor this morning or how my little boy exploded in his nappy 30 seconds before I walked out of the house or that I had to clean up cat vomit for the third time this week?

You do not want to hear any of my stories but I am happy to tell you, very happy indeed, because you are an adult!!!

I want to talk to YOU! I want you to talk to ME! No matter how mundane or personal or politically incorrect the subject may be I would love to engage you in some banter!

I want to speak to someone whose vocabulary expands further than the word “mummy” and “mine”, who doesn’t care that Dora The Explorer made it over the troll bridge and who may have an opinion on current economic climate.

I love my babies and enjoy being a stay at home mum but adult interaction is what I crave! I am like a stray puppy, give me a bit of attention and straightaway I will be your BFF. 🙂

I do want Telemarketers to ring me during the day, pity I put my telephone number on the Do Not Call Register. It is a shame the Mormons do not door knock around my area as I would happily invite them in for afternoon tea and a chat.

So if you are keen to curb my craving I am contactable via Mobile, Fax, Email, Facebook, Skype, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn, Flickr, MSN messenger, Yahoo, MySpace, Bebo and IRC!

I am not desperate but………….contact me, contact me NOW!


2 Responses to “Cravings! Chocolate, wine, chocolate cake and ADULT INTERACTION!”

  1. Boffin March 30, 2012 at 10:16 am #

    Well, did Dora make it over the bridge?

    It was only last week, the front gate squeeked open and a loud knocking on the door followed promptly. As I walked towards the light (streaming in through the frosted door window) a cacophony of excited squeels could be heard.

    Hello can I help you? Oh how nice (insert deep sarcastic tone here) it’s the “Happy Clappys” Their excitement at someone actually having opened the door to their dream fulfilment of changing the fate of the world, one atheist at a time was palpable.

    But then came my ‘no thanks i’m not interested’…. the mood quickly changed, clouds rolled over and a loud thundering echoed through Balmain as Ms Missionary blocked my door open with her bible, and proceeded to berate me for my lack of weekly church attendance – the end is nigh!, the world is on a certain path of destruction! which i assume would probably occur around midnight on the 3rd of July 2012 , and more importantly was most surely bought about by the very same Satin worshipping trolls that Dora recently encountered.

    So did Dora make it over the troll bridge? It could hold the key to Armageddon…..

  2. Jodi Zimmer March 30, 2012 at 1:17 pm #

    Dora the Explorer ALWAYS makes it over the troll bridge. Dora NEVER lets the grumpy old troll hold her back! 🙂

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